Being in a hugely popular boy band isn’t all giggles and underpants pillow fights. It’s a lot of that, of course. A lot of that, and tour bus hijinks and tight jeans and strange new feelings. But it’s not all that. It’s also hard—difficult, really. Take, for example, the story of one Zayn Malik, who went from the group scene to the solo scene, and is now reveling in his newfound freedom. In an interview with Complex magazine, relayed to us by E!, Malik, who has released acclaimed new music since breaking free of British boy-band sensation One Direction, says that there were some frustrating restrictions placed on him when he was in the band.

Of course, he was not allowed to take a wife, and was barred from owning property. In fact, he was made to live in a small tower, located in a secret clearing deep in the forest, with the other members of the band. Well, O.K., it wasn’t that restrictive. But, much like another tower-dwelling beauty, Malik was subject to some harsh rules regulating his hair. He told Complex the following:

“There were certain restrictions in terms of the way that we could come outside of that young teen boy look. Mainly my beard, honestly. I wasn't allowed to keep it. Eventually, when I got older, I rebelled against it, and decided to keep it anyway. That was just because I looked older than the rest of them.”

Zayn, denied his beard?? That’s outrageous. I mean, just look at his perfect stubble! Why would any nefarious band manager not want Zayn to have his beautiful half-beard? Well, it didn’t really matter, because Zayn basically got to have it anyway. Maybe there was some backstage friction, which was surely uncomfortable at first, but then it was all fine. Zayn won in the end.

Apparently there was also some issue about dyeing his hair. Zayn now sports what I guess we’re calling frosted tips, though that term is such a hideous invocation of a terrible time in fashion history that I think we should go with something else. He’s got some blond highlights on the ends of his hair. Let’s say that. Anyway, he wasn’t allowed to get that done when he was in 1D, but now he can. He’s liberated. And we’re all the luckier for it. Zayn has been freed, and now can lull the world into a sex trance however he pleases.

Meanwhile, we’d have to assume that the other One Direction boys, who may or may not be on permanent hiatus, are now free to fiddle with their own hair. If they want to, that is. I’ve got a feeling that if you were to ask them, scruffy Liam would be into it, maybe Niall too. But Louis would probably turn to Harry with a grin and say something like, “Beards? No, not for us. We’re sick of beards, aren’t we, Harry?” And Harry would smile and say, “Yep. No more beards for us. We’re done with all that.” And that would be the end of that.